But I'm white.............so what can Martin Luther King's birthday mean to me?

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But I'm White, so what can Martin Luther King's birthday mean to me? 

That thought kept crossing my mind while I listened to Robin. Robin, who was African-American, and I were coworkers and friends and lived down the hall from each other.  Our friendship became comfortable and secure and I'd spend weekends with her family.  We could talk about race issues freely without fear of causing offense. It was New York City in the early 1980s before Dr. King's birthday was regularly observed as a national holiday and Robin was explaining how she would take off from work each year to mark his birthday.  She wanted to consciously contemplate the day, Dr. King's sacrifices, and the sacrifices of those that went before her that gave her the opportunities she now had as a modern Black woman.  She spoke with reverence in what was tangible appreciation. 

On an intellectual level, I understood.  In the 60's, I'd grown up white in small town White America where there were lots of White folks but few Black folks.  So in college, a very urban university in Buffalo, I purposefully challenged my naivete.  I read books and speeches by and about Dr. King, the Civil Rights Movement, and other noteworthy people in history who championed the rights of African-Americans. I was one of few White people to take a Black History course,  to the surprise and sometimes disapproval of my classmates.  I sought out friendships with fellow Black students so I could listen, learn, hear, and silence the misunderstanding voices in my head that had developed out of fear spawned by ignorance.  To my great pleasure, I found a place in the Black student community where I became a trusted friend and was embraced. I came to understand more deeply the heroism of Dr. King and why it was important to recognize his accomplishments. 

Still, I was White. I had not lived through the experiences recounted by Black friends.  Oppression.  Discrimination.  False assumptions. Mistrust.  Racist anger. Fear for life and safety.  My rights were never challenged because of my race.  Should I too, take off from work to consciously contemplate the sacrifices made by King and others?  My opportunities had not been not effected.  Those sacrifices had not been made for me. 

Or had they?

There have been numerous experiences between college and now that give me cause to celebrate Dr. King's birthday on a very personal level.  Some of those are for other blog posts.  But the greatest experiences include when I look in my husband's eyes, and touch his brown face, and feel his strong arms around me.  Or when I shared a body with two brown babies, and nursed them from my own breasts, their skin in contrast with my own. My babies who came from my husband and me out of my own body.  This is why I can revere Dr. King's birthday, and pay homage to those who went before me.  Because of their sacrifices, I am allowed to love this Black man, and take his name in marriage.  Because of their sacrifices, I can cherish my children as I run my fingers through their coffee curls.  Because of those who went before me, I have a family with faces of different hues.  Most importantly, my own mind has been set free from fear and ignorance.  In his "I Have A Dream" speech, Dr. King dreamed of little Black and White girls and boys that he hoped would  one day join hands as brothers and sisters.  Well here's one step further......as husband and wife.  Way back when Dr. King spoke those infamous words, I was one of those little White girls he dreamed of, ready to one day join hands with my brown friend, husband, child.  We, are Martin's dream...... realized. It is time to stop being merely inspired by his words.  It's time to walk the walk. 

Today, like Robin, we make sure to have off Martin Luther King's birthday.  We make special plans to celebrate in simple but specific ways.  When I was born, within my own lifetime, Black and White people could not eat together in many restaurants, or sit together in a movie theater, or bowl a game together.  So on Dr. King's birthday, we do things we could not have done 50 or 60 years ago.  Simple activities with conscious intent.  We go to a restaurant to eat together, as an interracial family, for the mere fact that we can.  We sit in a theater and watch a movie together, as a family, because we can. We attend the same church, and sit side by side, simply, because we can. 

Generations have gone before us and given us the tools for change.  Let us pick up those tools, move forward,  and use them to see the good in one another, because we can.